A new car, caviar, four star daydream; think I’ll buy me a football team

I think I can say with a no small amount of confidence that the oligarchical amount of money that’s changed hands in the last three days is probably similar to the GDP of a regional petrostate. It’s enough to make Mansa Musa blush and Jeff Bezos wince.

Here’s the number that you’re all waiting for:

£1,699,948,030

£1.7bn worth of deals in three days. My word.

Luckily my attention span is sufficient enough to open the transfer history, ctrl+f the phrase YTH and count up to at least 21, so I can exclusively reveal that just shy of three quarters of a billion (£735,000,000) has been spent on realising the hopes and dreams of the future generation.

This means, maths fans, that after what feels like a fiver (£16,748,000) has been recouped from managers releasing players; £948,200,030 has been spent on player trades. Can we call this a billion yet?

Some of the headline moves include Tony Yeboah volleying his way from Verulam Romans to CSKA Tulse Hill for £112m, Omar Richards leaving Farsley for Clapton in exchange for 5,300,000,000,000 pennies and the Merstham Magic manager Sam literally. selling. a. member. of. his. own. family. for £85m.

rel = released | yth = youth | auc = auction | dra = draft

Name         Age Nat Prs St Tk Ps Sh Sm Ag KAb TAb PAb SAb Gam Sav Ktk Kps Sht Gls Ass  DP Inj Sus Fit  DATE      FROM TO   FEE 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
N_Southall    15 wal   C 17  6  6  6 65 23 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  yth  opk  £35m
B_Wilson      15 eng   C 16  7  6  6 85 31 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  yth  opk  £35m
D_Welbeck     16 eng  RL  4  5  9 17 68 26 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  yth  opk  £35m
T_Romero      27 sal   R 22  5  3  4 64 30 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  tit  ass  £25m
T_Woods       16 usa  LC  4  5  9 17 71 36 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  yth  mma  £35m
T_Yeboah      17 gha   C  4  5 10 19 66 35 300 346 602 559   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  vro  cth  £112m
M_Walters     17 eng RLC  4  5 10 17 79 38 300 296 306 792   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  mma  vro  £85m
YOUTH         16 ned   R  4  5 10 17 67 21 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  yth  vpa  £35m
I_Stimac      25 cro   R  4 21  5  6 56 30 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  vro  bra  £37m
D_Matteo      18 cam   R  3 13 11  9 68 37 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  bra  vro  p/x
N_Kanu        15 nig   C  5  5 10 17 67 38 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  yth  ass  £35m
R_Kinley      16 lat  RC  4  9 17  8 85 26 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  23/01/22  mma  vro  £50m
YOUTH         15 eng   C  4  5  9 16 70 40 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  sas  £35m
O_Richards    17 eng   C  3 17  9  8 74 21 300 372 393 426   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  fac  clc  £53m
K_Duguid      15 eng   R  5 17 10  6 82 28 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  ara  £35m
T_Smith       25 nzl  RC  3 16  6 11 55 30 300 562 332 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ara  rel  £2,880,000
N_Chilvers    33 eng   C  2  4 14  7 65 26 300 300 465 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ara  rel  £432,000
B_Stevenson   30 eng   C  5 10 15 10 48 28 300 322 441 250   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ara  rel  £1,600,000
Clodoaldo     26 bra   C  3 14 15  2 73 67 300 372 324 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ara  rel  £2,448,000
Chiyonofuji   15 mon  LC 17  7  6  6 56 42 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  tit  £35m
M_Catt        23 eng   C  4  7 24 15 78 21 300 752 701 542   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  opk  vro  £40m
M_Tyovra      23 aus   R  5  6 23 10 72 39 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  opk  p/x
R_v_d_Laan    21 nld  RC  3 10 19  8 84 31 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  opk  p/x
C_Romero      15 arg   C  4 17  9  7 66 39 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  fuk  £35m
A_Varela      15 arg RLC  4 14 14  6 79 34 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  fuk  £35m
L_Doody       15 ire   C  4 16 10  7 60 21 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  mma  £35m
R_Kinley      16 lat  RC  4  9 17  8 85 26 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  mma  £35m
T_SvindalLars 32 den  LC  4  8 17  6 49 27 300 398 697 378   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  fac  rel  £840,000
M_Desailly    30 fra RLC  4 20 11  8 67 27 300 368 683 344   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  fer  fac  £30.2m
T_Growbsi     22 nig   L  4 12 22 10 90 27 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  sas  vro  £60m
S_Eranio      20 ita   C  4  7 21  6 71 31 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  sas  p/x
S_Johnson     27 eng  RC  3 10 19  5 85 23 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  sas  p/x
C_Cresswell   17 eng  LC  4 17 10  6 61 37 300 988 470 408   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  sas  £35m
M_Tyovra      23 aus   R  5  6 23 10 72 39 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  sas  vro  p/x
Ederson       29 bra   C 23  4  5  4 43 22 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ass  fac  £28m
D_Maradona    22 arg  RC  5  8 10 25 63 35 300 496 925 464   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  fac  tot  £15m
P_Foden       19 eng   C  4  6 16 20 69 35 300 300 193 854   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  tot  fac  p/x
W_Ensleydale  22 eng  RC  4 23 11  7 74 22 300 840 737 526   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  tot  fac  p/x
B_White       30 eng   C  3 16  9  8 51 31 300 680 801 430   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  cla  rel  £1,728,000
B_Douglas     30 bul   C  4 15  9  6 41 30 300 856 571 520   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  cla  rel  £1,632,000
H_Costa       30 por   R  4  9  7 18 68 31 300 470 571 620   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  cla  rel  £3,192,000
G_Berardi     28 swi  LC  4 14 12  9 65 27 300 622 504 252   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  cla  rel  £2,496,000
P_Hernandez   30 spa   R  4  9 15  9 68 25 300 546 967 444   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  cla  rel  £1,776,000
T_Roberts     34 wal   L  1  5  3 16 61 35 300 524 720 678   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  cla  rel  £812,000
R_Keane       34 ire  LC  1  5  3 14 49 26 300 622 747 446   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  cla  rel  £728,000
S_Dallas      34 nir  LC  1 16  6  7 47 30 300 456 550 222   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  cla  rel  £544,000
Caoihmin_Og   16 ire RLC  4 17 10  6 76 36 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  sas  £35m
D_Maradona    22 arg  RC  5  8 10 25 63 35 300 496 925 464   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  fac  swap
A_Peruzzi     20 ita   C 22  3  3  3 72 21 474 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  fac  vro  swap
C_Cresswell   17 eng  LC  4 17 10  6 61 37 300 988 470 408   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  fac  vro  swap
A_Hakimi      18 mor RLC  5 19  9  9 62 34 300 920 312 240   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  fac  vro  swap
T_Yeboah      17 gha   C  4  5 10 19 66 35 300 346 602 559   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  fac  vro  swap
G_Donnarumma  22 ita   R 26  5  5  3 81 34 461 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vis  ths  £10m
S_Given       32 ire   C 26  5  3  5 39 27 758 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ths  vis  p/x
M_Dawson      24 eng   C  4  6 21  3 74 26 300 742 950 837   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ths  vis  p/x
Terunofuji    15 mon RLC  4 15  9  6 58 25 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  tit  £35m
Asashoryu     16 mon RLC  4 17  9  7 66 26 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  tit  £35m
J_Cifuentes   20 ecu   C  4  5 20 10 89 33 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  cla  £70m
K_MoonHwan    29 sko   R  3 21 10 11 76 30 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  bra  £37.5m
YOUTH1        16 eng RLC  4  5 10 17 79 29 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  cla  £35m
YOUTH2        15 eng RLC  4  8 16  8 81 25 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  cla  £35m
YOUTH3        15 eng   C  4 16 10  6 56 20 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  cla  £35m
E_Segura      17 col  RC  4 19  8  7 66 39 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  tit  ths  £90m
Taiho         15 jpn RLC  4 16 10  7 61 27 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ths  tit  p/x
Taiho         15 jpn RLC  4 16 10  7 61 27 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  ths  £35m
C_Bellamy     16 wal RLC  4  5 10 17 64 33 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  yth  ths  £35m
A_Hakimi      18 mor RLC  5 19  9  9 62 34 300 920 312 240   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  bow  fac  swap
L_Suarez      21 uru  LC  4  3  8 19 69 90 300 260 260 276   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  fac  bow  swap
L_Ferdinand   20 eng  RC  4  8 11 20 62 32 300 512 800 642   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ths  fac  £0 season loan
T_Camara      21 gui   C  5  7 12 22 73 22 300 726 416 354   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  tit  £75m
K_MoonHwan    29 sko   R  3 21 10 11 76 30 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  tit  vro  p/x
J_Cifuentes   20 ecu   C  4  5 20 10 89 33 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  tit  vro  p/x
C_Ramirez     17 usa RLC  5 10 10 12 34 28 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  tit  vro  p/x
D_Maradona    22 arg  RC  5  8 10 25 63 35 300 496 925 464   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ths  vro  £59m
K_Dyer        27 eng   C  4 13 19  7 67 60 300 988 790 503   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  ths  vro  p/x
P_Wanchope    22 cri  RC  4  8  7 23 66 23 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  ths  p/x
D_Sturridge   15 eng   L  5  9 11 17 49 33 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  tit  £32.5m
F_Baiano      20 ita   L  5  5 10 22 60 29 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  vro  dic  £15m
T_Camara      21 gui   C  5  7 12 22 73 22 300 726 416 354   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  dic  vro  p/x
H_Betr        26 nig RLC  5  9 19 11 91 25 300 300 300 300   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0   0 100  20/01/22  sas  vro  £11m

With 81 players being forcibly relocated to different clubs, these are halcyon days for estate agents.

Finances

Don’t do anything stupid, and don’t waste money. Let everyone else do stupid things and waste money, and then we’ll buy them.

Jamie Dimon

With £950m spent on players, £189,640,006 has entered the game with managers gaining their extra 20% through the Splash Out to Cash Out scheme. A not insignificant amount and coupled with all the prize money we’re definitely entering a period of inflation. Left unchecked we’re going to have vast sums of cash.

I had previously said I’d reveal the average club balances to reveal where we’re at, but I don’t think I need to just yet. HEADS UP: I will be looking at next season’s prize money though, and the chances of prize money going up are broadly in line with the UK winning the next Eurovision.

In truth this doesn’t make a huge difference. It’s still all proportionality the same so the fact we’re adding another zero on to prices this season isn’t terrible. But there’s no harm in checking it slightly.

Mike

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